Chennai roads

Here I am, back after three weeks. To think I have had writer’s block just after four posts is very disheartening. To make it worse I couldn’t even remember the password to my blog. I had to actually reset my password because after three wrong attempts my office instincts kicked in and I started worrying if my account will get locked (my office computer and email accounts get locked after three wrong attempts). So after 10 mins of trying to remember the password, 5 mins of three failed attempts to log in and another 10 mins to reset my password here I am finally trying to write my post. Anyone who tries to make fun of my ant sized memory power or typing speeds (what 10 mins to reset a single password) shall not be encouraged.

But on the positive note I would like to think I haven’t changed. I mean I am the biggest procrastinator I have ever seen and I am also pretty scared of change. So let’s assume that this is something good and move on with our post.

Anyhoo, I was driving my scooty today and as usual I encountered three “yemma veetla sollitu vantiya”*, two “yei loose pathu poradhu illiya”** and four I-dont-Give-a-shit-if-I-am-walking-right-in-the-middle-of-road-and-wont-move-even-if-you-honk pedestrians when I got this idea for a blog post. I was so pleased about having got an idea for a post that I actually smiled sweetly at the auto driver who gave me the finger while he cut me off.

So with my never-ending love for pointers and numbered lists let me list the lovely sights and the very interesting experiences I have had on Chennai roads:

1.) Auto drivers rule: Or so they think. I am not sure who made them the kings of the road and other vehicles, but you can ALWAYS find them cutting you off at turnings, shouting obscenities to you that would make even a five-year old blush and honking endlessly until you ram against the bike before you in order to give him the two-inch space for him to move forward. But I have got to hand it to them, when it comes to someone who can mindlessly violate the traffic, his own self-respect and other driver’s dignity there is no one who can get ahead of these auto drivers.

2.) Pedestrian Love: Have you ever encountered pedestrians who walk almost in the middle of the road, who hear a vehicle come behind them but NEVER move even an inch towards the footpath? If you say no I’ll just have to assume that you drive in space or some other planet where roads, traffic are actually sacred words never to be tainted. I encounter such idiots so frequently that I am beginning to think maybe its their birth right to do so. And their braveness is something I have got to appreciate. Even if I come really fast and really close to them and honk like there is no tomorrow, they never so much as even move their body one inch towards the footpath. It’s as if some invisible power from above comes and whispers into their ears that “All iz well”. Its me who gets panicky and have to avert my vehicle to avoid hitting them. They are cool as a cucumber, wont give me a second glance and just move on talking into their cellphones or day dreaming as they continue walking right in the middle of the road.

3.) No honking please: Whenever I see this sign behind some truck  I laugh out loud. Whoever invented or patented that line will probably commit suicide seeing how little respect people have for this line. In Chennai its everyone’s birth right to honk as they please, at whoever they want and however loudly that they want to. Even if the traffic light is red and everyone is waiting, drivers in many vehicles will keep honking mindlessly giving you a migraine. I think there is some frequency power in those horns which can make the Red signal to immediately change into Green. No? Also god forbid if you like to go in a reasonably decent speed limit. You might not die because of over speed but be assured that you will die of ear drum explosion or a severe migraine because of the honking that will ensue.

But in spite of all these I love to drive and driving actually soothes me. If I am upset or angry with someone I immediately go for a long drive with music plugged to my ears and I almost immediately calm down. Egad! Is this strange? Should I be treated for this? Let me know!!!

* Hey have you told to people at home before coming

** Hey crackpot, can’t you look and drive?