Decision making….

….sucks!!!! For me that is! If there is one thing in the world I would gladly exchange for a day to stare at paint dry or to watch Sura movie three times back to back it is this. I get extremely tensed and confused that I make the whole deciding process a pain not only for me but also for all my close ones.

I had to recently make an important decision at work and I think it suffices to say I was a train wreck the whole 2 days I had to think about it. I don’t know what it is that makes me so scared to make a decision. Maybe its just the thought that I’ll eventually end up making a wrong choice.

You should see me when I am trying to make a decision. You can see me all quiet with a very solemn look in my face (the one these serials maamis have in almost all scenes) and furiously making notes. What?? I love making notes..Of late I think its some sort of disease I have. I have to make notes before I even make a phone call to to the customer service guy to complain about something. Anyways I digress.

I see many people who ace at decision making. You know, the most irritating cool dude types who make it sound like s a breeze. The ones who make decisions in minutes, no matter how big the problem is or no matter how varied the choices are? I envy them..and when I say envy its the kind of envy that just makes you turn a very dark green and wanna wish the guy lands up watching a Vijay or Simbhu movie back to back. I know, I can be very cruel sometimes. But I also wish I end up with a guy like that. You know so that I can have a Love-Hate relationship with him. What thats the kind of marriage that lasts and is considered a happy one. No?

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On Names

Have you ever wondered about names? I mean really sat down and pondered over it? I have done it , infact I do it more than the prescribed normal level. Or so I am told. I often think if my name is stylish enough or if its smart enough or if its a name that can actually make an impact on people (don’t ask me what that means!) etc etc. I often bug my mom as to why she didn’t give more thought about my name. If I ever hear a name which I think is better than mine you can be rest assured I’ll be interrogating my parents the whole evening as to why they didn’t think of that name for me. I sometimes even choose friends by their names (I know I know, terrible!) or rather keep worrying about my friend’s name or even feel sorry for them (only in private) that their parents screwed their lives forever with such a horrendous name.

I think a parent’s most important duty towards their child is to name them right. I mean think about it, if you give your kid a way too traditional or a funny name they are gonna get teased for it all through their life. Like for ex I know a guy who is called SrinivasaRamanujam and his father’s name is Mohan.  Whoa!! How unfair is that? It seems he was named after his grandfather. Now I feel like torturing his father on his behalf, yes I am very charitable like that. The father has a far more non teasable, stylish name than his son. If this is not a failure as a parent’s duty then I am not sure what is 🙂

There is one more naming tradition for Indian parents. Many tend to name their kids with rhyming names. Have you heard of it? Like the sisters would be called divya and ramya or the brothers would be called ajay and vijay or the brother and the sister would be called murali and anjali. I mean what is with that? Who started this tradition? Is it ‘cool’ if your kids name rhyme? Sadly I belong to this ‘cool’ group.Me and my elder sister have rhyming names and my mother tells me proudly that the only names they even considered for me was the ones that rhymed with my sister’s.  I imagine my naming ceremony. Everyone would have been assigned a pen and a paper to note down names that rhyme with my sisters and my parents would have chosen the one which rhymes the most. Bingo. Such joy no? Indian second kids make it so easy on their parents for naming them. I mean the formula is straight forward, simple and just has 3 steps:

1.) Take elder kid’s name for reference.

2.) Jot down all names that rhymes with it.

3.) Choose the name that rhymes the best.

See easy peesey!!

I am pretty ambition less and I am mostly happy with my life and have no strong goals ( wow I so don’t sound like a loser here) except two.

1.) Never to have rhyming names for my kids

2.) To keep a more stylish name for my kids than mine and not something like Abitagujalambal 😉

So is there anyone out there who is as name obsessed as me? Do let me know and you shall make a girl happy (Come on it can’t be that hard. No?)

On sacrifices

I was talking to a friend of mine today. She is smart, intelligent and a warm person. A girl who can keep her head and handle the most difficult of situations. She recently got married and since I couldn’t attend the wedding I had called her to ask how the wedding went and how married life was treating her. We were generally talking when she came out and told me how the guy she married was not someone she liked or respected but someone whom her parents had thought was best for her. Now this might not be a very shocking information, but I was a bit startled when I heard this. On further conversation she told me that this was a small sacrifice she did in order to make her parents happy. I wished her well and after a brief talk ended the call.

This phone call got me thinking. How many girls out there are actually marrying a person they like and respect? Sure not everyone has the chance to fall in love with a guy and then marry, but I would like to think every girl at least has a chance to make sure she ends up with someone who is compatible to her and someone who likes and respects her. This is when the concept of sacrifice never appeals to me. How can a sacrifice be a good thing when it’s going to make you feel miserable and unhappy? Do people really think they can make others happy by a sacrifice that makes them unhappy?

I have found out that I am not capable of making my loved ones happy as long as I am, to an extent, happy and content with my own life. Does that make me a selfish person? I hear some people talk in length about how much meaning gets added to their life when they sacrifice for others. Sure a sacrifice for others can make you happy, only if you are satisfied and happy to make it. If making the sacrifice is going to haunt you for the rest of your life I would say you are better off not doing it.

I had a colleague at work that would never come out for any movies with us. On asking her why she said that her parents had asked her not to go out for movies with friends and she said it was a sacrifice she was making for them and that it felt great to sacrifice something for the people you loved. I would have accepted this and even appreciated her if she had been happy with this decision. But she felt miserable not being able to come out with us and always used to ask us with a puppy dog look how the movie was when we came back.  Is this a sacrifice that’s good for her or even for her parents?

In every walk of life I always see people, especially women making sacrifices for someone, be it parents or husband or in laws and convince themselves that it’s a great feeling to sacrifice for your loved ones when in reality it makes them more unhappy. So why do we do it? Do we think that makes us nurturing and caring human beings? Or do we think we as a woman have it in us to sacrifice all our happiness to keep our loved ones happy? Or are we just succumbing to the label that making a sacrifice and adjusting is what makes us a true woman? I would love to get some answers!

A day in the life of SH

I walk back home tired and drunk with sleep. I stagger on my steps and might easily look like a drunk to any innocent passersby. I know, not a very nice scene and definitely not one of the scenes you see out of a romantic Gautham Menon movie where the heroine walks back home from work in perfect make up and fully done hair, where the hero all macho follows her. No sir that’s not how it happens here. The make up carefully applied in the morning is all gone, the hair is frizzy thanks to the bloody humidity and heat in Chennai and there is sadly no macho hero who follows me either. Unless you can count the creepy guy in the car wash shop who looks at me like he has never seen a girl in his life. But I digress.

Anyways I get home and there is amma watching TV and appa busy with some book. I get inside and say an enthusiastic Hi or at least a Hi that I can muster with the energy left in me. Amma waves back not peeling her eyes off the TV, in case she misses one scene in the serial which is running for 2 years now and whose story you just cannot miss even if you have been sleeping through it for one whole year. Appa grunts something which is barely audible. I resign, leave them to their respective pleasures and head to my room.

I change and then get hooked to the big bad world of WWW when amma calls from the hall “vandu sapdu…time aachu”*. This is when I have launched into a full bitch session with the BFF on chat. I shout back “pasikkala..apruma sapdaren”** which is returned with “ippo sapta nan poderen illana nee than eduthu potukanum”***.My laziness gets the better of me and I reluctantly say bye to the BFF asking her to remember the exact place where we left the conversation so that we can take it up the next day.

I go to get my dinner and polambify**** some more about how she always makes the spinach that I hate or the beans which she considers “healthy”. After some scolding from the mater I eat what’s on the plate without any further fuss. By then I have to snatch the remote off my appa’s hand where he insists on watching some stupid cricket match. Then I sit to eat in peace while watching ‘Two and a half men’ or ‘The Simpsons’. Appa as on cue gets into one of his infamous lectures about how youngsters these days have no discipline whatsoever which is promptly ignored by my brain cells because duh Charlie Sheen is there on the screen. How can one possibly concentrate on anything else apart from him?

Dinner gets over and its time to hit the bed so that I can open them eyelids the next day morning to drag myself to work. I say goodnight to amma and appa and just about to flop into my extra thick mattress bed when amma reminds me to brush my teeth and wash my face. I give her an angry glare which of course has no effects that it’s intended to have. Dejected and reminding myself to improvise on my ‘glare’ I dutifully do the needful and flop into bed within 2 minutes.

I then dream about Surya or some handsome guy I have seen somewhere in the office or on the roads when a huge smile crosses my face and I blissfully start sleeping.

Ah what an exciting life I lead.

* Come and eat its time.

** Not hungry I’ll eat later

*** I’ll serve if you eat now, else you have to serve yourself.

**** Complain