Decision making….

….sucks!!!! For me that is! If there is one thing in the world I would gladly exchange for a day to stare at paint dry or to watch Sura movie three times back to back it is this. I get extremely tensed and confused that I make the whole deciding process a pain not only for me but also for all my close ones.

I had to recently make an important decision at work and I think it suffices to say I was a train wreck the whole 2 days I had to think about it. I don’t know what it is that makes me so scared to make a decision. Maybe its just the thought that I’ll eventually end up making a wrong choice.

You should see me when I am trying to make a decision. You can see me all quiet with a very solemn look in my face (the one these serials maamis have in almost all scenes) and furiously making notes. What?? I love making notes..Of late I think its some sort of disease I have. I have to make notes before I even make a phone call to to the customer service guy to complain about something. Anyways I digress.

I see many people who ace at decision making. You know, the most irritating cool dude types who make it sound like s a breeze. The ones who make decisions in minutes, no matter how big the problem is or no matter how varied the choices are? I envy them..and when I say envy its the kind of envy that just makes you turn a very dark green and wanna wish the guy lands up watching a Vijay or Simbhu movie back to back. I know, I can be very cruel sometimes. But I also wish I end up with a guy like that. You know so that I can have a Love-Hate relationship with him. What thats the kind of marriage that lasts and is considered a happy one. No?

On Names

Have you ever wondered about names? I mean really sat down and pondered over it? I have done it , infact I do it more than the prescribed normal level. Or so I am told. I often think if my name is stylish enough or if its smart enough or if its a name that can actually make an impact on people (don’t ask me what that means!) etc etc. I often bug my mom as to why she didn’t give more thought about my name. If I ever hear a name which I think is better than mine you can be rest assured I’ll be interrogating my parents the whole evening as to why they didn’t think of that name for me. I sometimes even choose friends by their names (I know I know, terrible!) or rather keep worrying about my friend’s name or even feel sorry for them (only in private) that their parents screwed their lives forever with such a horrendous name.

I think a parent’s most important duty towards their child is to name them right. I mean think about it, if you give your kid a way too traditional or a funny name they are gonna get teased for it all through their life. Like for ex I know a guy who is called SrinivasaRamanujam and his father’s name is Mohan.  Whoa!! How unfair is that? It seems he was named after his grandfather. Now I feel like torturing his father on his behalf, yes I am very charitable like that. The father has a far more non teasable, stylish name than his son. If this is not a failure as a parent’s duty then I am not sure what is 🙂

There is one more naming tradition for Indian parents. Many tend to name their kids with rhyming names. Have you heard of it? Like the sisters would be called divya and ramya or the brothers would be called ajay and vijay or the brother and the sister would be called murali and anjali. I mean what is with that? Who started this tradition? Is it ‘cool’ if your kids name rhyme? Sadly I belong to this ‘cool’ group.Me and my elder sister have rhyming names and my mother tells me proudly that the only names they even considered for me was the ones that rhymed with my sister’s.  I imagine my naming ceremony. Everyone would have been assigned a pen and a paper to note down names that rhyme with my sisters and my parents would have chosen the one which rhymes the most. Bingo. Such joy no? Indian second kids make it so easy on their parents for naming them. I mean the formula is straight forward, simple and just has 3 steps:

1.) Take elder kid’s name for reference.

2.) Jot down all names that rhymes with it.

3.) Choose the name that rhymes the best.

See easy peesey!!

I am pretty ambition less and I am mostly happy with my life and have no strong goals ( wow I so don’t sound like a loser here) except two.

1.) Never to have rhyming names for my kids

2.) To keep a more stylish name for my kids than mine and not something like Abitagujalambal 😉

So is there anyone out there who is as name obsessed as me? Do let me know and you shall make a girl happy (Come on it can’t be that hard. No?)

Chennai roads

Here I am, back after three weeks. To think I have had writer’s block just after four posts is very disheartening. To make it worse I couldn’t even remember the password to my blog. I had to actually reset my password because after three wrong attempts my office instincts kicked in and I started worrying if my account will get locked (my office computer and email accounts get locked after three wrong attempts). So after 10 mins of trying to remember the password, 5 mins of three failed attempts to log in and another 10 mins to reset my password here I am finally trying to write my post. Anyone who tries to make fun of my ant sized memory power or typing speeds (what 10 mins to reset a single password) shall not be encouraged.

But on the positive note I would like to think I haven’t changed. I mean I am the biggest procrastinator I have ever seen and I am also pretty scared of change. So let’s assume that this is something good and move on with our post.

Anyhoo, I was driving my scooty today and as usual I encountered three “yemma veetla sollitu vantiya”*, two “yei loose pathu poradhu illiya”** and four I-dont-Give-a-shit-if-I-am-walking-right-in-the-middle-of-road-and-wont-move-even-if-you-honk pedestrians when I got this idea for a blog post. I was so pleased about having got an idea for a post that I actually smiled sweetly at the auto driver who gave me the finger while he cut me off.

So with my never-ending love for pointers and numbered lists let me list the lovely sights and the very interesting experiences I have had on Chennai roads:

1.) Auto drivers rule: Or so they think. I am not sure who made them the kings of the road and other vehicles, but you can ALWAYS find them cutting you off at turnings, shouting obscenities to you that would make even a five-year old blush and honking endlessly until you ram against the bike before you in order to give him the two-inch space for him to move forward. But I have got to hand it to them, when it comes to someone who can mindlessly violate the traffic, his own self-respect and other driver’s dignity there is no one who can get ahead of these auto drivers.

2.) Pedestrian Love: Have you ever encountered pedestrians who walk almost in the middle of the road, who hear a vehicle come behind them but NEVER move even an inch towards the footpath? If you say no I’ll just have to assume that you drive in space or some other planet where roads, traffic are actually sacred words never to be tainted. I encounter such idiots so frequently that I am beginning to think maybe its their birth right to do so. And their braveness is something I have got to appreciate. Even if I come really fast and really close to them and honk like there is no tomorrow, they never so much as even move their body one inch towards the footpath. It’s as if some invisible power from above comes and whispers into their ears that “All iz well”. Its me who gets panicky and have to avert my vehicle to avoid hitting them. They are cool as a cucumber, wont give me a second glance and just move on talking into their cellphones or day dreaming as they continue walking right in the middle of the road.

3.) No honking please: Whenever I see this sign behind some truck  I laugh out loud. Whoever invented or patented that line will probably commit suicide seeing how little respect people have for this line. In Chennai its everyone’s birth right to honk as they please, at whoever they want and however loudly that they want to. Even if the traffic light is red and everyone is waiting, drivers in many vehicles will keep honking mindlessly giving you a migraine. I think there is some frequency power in those horns which can make the Red signal to immediately change into Green. No? Also god forbid if you like to go in a reasonably decent speed limit. You might not die because of over speed but be assured that you will die of ear drum explosion or a severe migraine because of the honking that will ensue.

But in spite of all these I love to drive and driving actually soothes me. If I am upset or angry with someone I immediately go for a long drive with music plugged to my ears and I almost immediately calm down. Egad! Is this strange? Should I be treated for this? Let me know!!!

* Hey have you told to people at home before coming

** Hey crackpot, can’t you look and drive?

Five Star – Not!

Since jotting down points is one of my interests and also since I am unable to think of anything clever to blog right now, let me present to you the top five most stupid and uncouth things I have noticed some men do in workplaces. Before you pounce on me let me also add that most of the points below have been confirmed by my other girlfriends as occurring in their workplaces too.

1.)    Please, pretty please do not push past ladies when you are getting into the company bus. There is place for everyone in the bus and you won’t be left standing. It’s not only rude to push past them, but it’s downright inhuman to push past heavily pregnant ladies. It makes me wonder what kind of manners you were taught growing up or whether you don’t realize you are never ever going to get a date with any girl who sees you doing this.

2.)    Do not, I repeat do not burp loudly during a conference/meeting or a business lunch or for that matter even a normal lunch with your team mates/friends. It’s an extremely uncouth behavior and you will go100 points down in my book if you do it. There are subtle ways to burp and you should always apologize after you do it. Burping in public is not your birth right!

3.)    Slamming the door on the face of the girl coming right behind you. You needn’t go out of your way to keep the door open for the next person coming in, but would it hurt if you have to hold the door open for another 3 seconds in order to let the girl right behind you get in? Is that so difficult?

4.)    Do not ask a girl her age. This is such an age old proverb that I would think you would have it ingrained in your head by now. But no, I have had many guys come to me and ask my age. Also if the girl politely declines giving an answer to your obviously stupid question let go. Don’t stand by pestering her until she is forced to give you an answer.

5.)    Do not offer a girl any marital advice. It’s none of your fcuking business and please be assured that every girl has her own plans and reasons for having gotten married or to still remain single. Every time you get an urge to offer your extremely vast knowledge in this subject, do everyone a favor and slap yourself hard on your face.