Decision making….

….sucks!!!! For me that is! If there is one thing in the world I would gladly exchange for a day to stare at paint dry or to watch Sura movie three times back to back it is this. I get extremely tensed and confused that I make the whole deciding process a pain not only for me but also for all my close ones.

I had to recently make an important decision at work and I think it suffices to say I was a train wreck the whole 2 days I had to think about it. I don’t know what it is that makes me so scared to make a decision. Maybe its just the thought that I’ll eventually end up making a wrong choice.

You should see me when I am trying to make a decision. You can see me all quiet with a very solemn look in my face (the one these serials maamis have in almost all scenes) and furiously making notes. What?? I love making notes..Of late I think its some sort of disease I have. I have to make notes before I even make a phone call to to the customer service guy to complain about something. Anyways I digress.

I see many people who ace at decision making. You know, the most irritating cool dude types who make it sound like s a breeze. The ones who make decisions in minutes, no matter how big the problem is or no matter how varied the choices are? I envy them..and when I say envy its the kind of envy that just makes you turn a very dark green and wanna wish the guy lands up watching a Vijay or Simbhu movie back to back. I know, I can be very cruel sometimes. But I also wish I end up with a guy like that. You know so that I can have a Love-Hate relationship with him. What thats the kind of marriage that lasts and is considered a happy one. No?

The City Of Contrasts…

Mumbai!! Yes I had been to Mumbai recently for vacation and I LOVED it. I was creating blog posts in my head even when I was there enjoying but as soon as I came back I became lazy and procrastinated. What can I say, Chennai brings out my true characteristics in full force.

Anyhoo the city has several phrases associated with it like “The City that never sleeps”, Vandarai Vazhavaikkum Nagaram roughly translated to “The City that never lets its people down”, but I thought the phrase most apt for it “The City of Contrasts”. If there were a contest to tell which city in India is the most contrasted then it has to be Mumbai. You can see extreme richness and extreme poverty, extremely friendly people and downright snobs, extreme cleanliness and extremely dirty, extremely fashionable people and downright traditional ones. amazing houses and almost torn down buildings. At the end I was sooo dizzy with all the contrasts that I was always like “Lookkkk at this!!” and behaving like someone very high on sugar until my friends had to hose me down!!

So I landed at the CS terminal and trust me when I say this, I saw most girls there who had to be either models or some small scale actresses. How else will you explain the most fashionable outfits, the perfectly toned bodies and the perfect make up and hair do?? How How?? Or am the one who is living under the rocks?? Anyhoodle after I sight adichufyed these girls ( I do this when I see really pretty girls…what can I say? I hv a weakness for beauty!!) I exit the airport and took the car with my friend to her place in Ulhasnagar which is a 2 hour drive from the airport. The drive was done with me screeching with joy and looking at places through the car window like a maniac. I think I can safely say my friend lost a bit of her self dignity with her driver that day,

Like any agmark mark Tamilian I know very little hindi. When I say very little I mean I can say things like “aacha ji”, “dho lijiye”, “kitna” etc. There ends my Hindi skills. So when I had to interact with people all I did was sweetly smile at the auto wallahs, shopkeepers and say “hindi nayi” and dive behind my friend who would do all the talking for me. Poor thing, she was my official translator for the whole of my stay there.

We did lots of touristy stuff there and my friend very dutifully took me to all the hotspots in Mumbai, basically she was my guide and I played the part of the over inquisitive tourist to perfection. Maintaining my love for lists let me tell you in points about some of the places that I loved the most in Mumbai:

  1. Linking road, Bandra: This.is.the.place.to.shop. I am now turning green with envy for all Mumbai people who have this shopping heaven right in their city. I was like a monkey released from its cage there. I whooped and ran to shop everything that was in sight and my friends had to calm me down with the lure of getting me my fav Iced Coffee from CCD. I bought 4 chappals, 3 handbags, 3 tops and 4 skirts there. Due to the restriction of how I’ll carry all this back to Chennai I had to cut shot my shopping there.
  2. Bandstand and Bandra Worli sealink: This has got to be a couple magnet. No? This is such a beautiful romantic spot that I felt a bit bad about visiting it with my girl friends🙂 The sea, the rocks, the bridge, the sunset. my god the perfect combo for a romantic setting. We sat on the rocks and watched the sea for a long time before they had to drag me off from there. We then took a beautiful drive on the Bandra Worli sealink. I have fallen in love with Bandra and Worli and I kept telling my friend “Only if someone can give us a house facing the sea here” and she shut my mouth by saying the price these houses would cost. Do people really have so much money in Mumbai for the prices she quoted me? I am genuinely surprised!!
  3. Nariman Point and marine drive: This has to be my top fav spot in Mumbai. Its just lovely!! The sea, the rocks, the queen’s necklace! If I have to sum this up in one word it should be “Beauty”. We sat there for hours just looking at the sunset, the sea. Then they lit up the place and we could see the queen’s necklace. Just great. Once again a great spot to visit with your bf/husband. Needless to say the place was filled with laauuvee baards all sitting on the rocks almost camouflaged. But here is where we encountered some high maintenance snobs. Me and my friends asked this group of girls who passed us to take a pic of all of us together and one of the girl there actually said “Ughh. I don’t have time for this” and they all left with a huff. No time??? “Are you all going to launch some high end rocket from here” I wanted to ask!! My friend explained how these girls must probably be worth crores and hence this attitude..I was seriously appalled…All we asked was to take a photo..Is that so much of a hard work? Or even if you aren’t interested would it kill you to decline it politely?

Apart from all these places I also saw the Gateway of India, Colaba Causeway, Siddivinayak temple and had a lovely tour of South Mumbai. I loveee South Mumbai, its clean, has some very beautiful houses, has less traffic because they have a weird rule there about how autos are not allowed there and most importantly the sea. Btw did you Chennaites know they call autos as rickshaws in Mumbai? When my friend said this I giggled for like 2 mins..Sigh! My IQ must really be low if I find things like this amusing.

Now gentle readers, a few glimpses of Mumbai:

On the whole, I enjoyed my trip. I have many friends who are from Mumbai and I always hear and see the famous ‘Mumbai Spirit’ and have been very eager to see the place. Except for the horrendous traffic, the humidity which makes you sweat like a pig and a few snobbish people we encountered I have to say I loved this trip!

Obama/Osama

Hellooo everybody (By everybody I mean the four to five people who read my blog), how was your week? Mine was excellent or excel-lente as Kevin James would say it. I had a lovely trip to Mumbai to visit some of my friends there and ate lots of Golas there. Which might explain the reason why my eyes are watering like I have been forced to watch Sura movie three times continuously.

Anyhoo, I had to blog about the recent Hawt news doing the rounds which is Mr.Bin Laden being shot down by the US. As happy as I am with the fact that the leader of a big terrorist group was being shot dead I can’t help but giggle with the amount of sarcastic, funny and mokka sms and tweets doing the rounds. I am going to list couple of my favourite ones.

1.) Now that Osama is dead can I travel with 125 ml shampoo in flights?

2.) This one was over heard by yours truly in a bus between two payyans:

Guy 1: Ennada Osama out aame

Guy 2: Inda US oru vethu da. Nalaiku sagapora kezhavana pottu tallitu ipdi peethikaranga. 

But really the US has managed to find Osama only after SO many years when they should have done these years back., that too with this much resources and AFTER bombing entire Afganisthan and after looting Iran and Iraq in the pretext of the fight against terrorism? So I do not get their sense of pride or accomplishment when Obama gives all these speeches telling how US has finally done justice. Your thoughts?

On Names

Have you ever wondered about names? I mean really sat down and pondered over it? I have done it , infact I do it more than the prescribed normal level. Or so I am told. I often think if my name is stylish enough or if its smart enough or if its a name that can actually make an impact on people (don’t ask me what that means!) etc etc. I often bug my mom as to why she didn’t give more thought about my name. If I ever hear a name which I think is better than mine you can be rest assured I’ll be interrogating my parents the whole evening as to why they didn’t think of that name for me. I sometimes even choose friends by their names (I know I know, terrible!) or rather keep worrying about my friend’s name or even feel sorry for them (only in private) that their parents screwed their lives forever with such a horrendous name.

I think a parent’s most important duty towards their child is to name them right. I mean think about it, if you give your kid a way too traditional or a funny name they are gonna get teased for it all through their life. Like for ex I know a guy who is called SrinivasaRamanujam and his father’s name is Mohan.  Whoa!! How unfair is that? It seems he was named after his grandfather. Now I feel like torturing his father on his behalf, yes I am very charitable like that. The father has a far more non teasable, stylish name than his son. If this is not a failure as a parent’s duty then I am not sure what is🙂

There is one more naming tradition for Indian parents. Many tend to name their kids with rhyming names. Have you heard of it? Like the sisters would be called divya and ramya or the brothers would be called ajay and vijay or the brother and the sister would be called murali and anjali. I mean what is with that? Who started this tradition? Is it ‘cool’ if your kids name rhyme? Sadly I belong to this ‘cool’ group.Me and my elder sister have rhyming names and my mother tells me proudly that the only names they even considered for me was the ones that rhymed with my sister’s.  I imagine my naming ceremony. Everyone would have been assigned a pen and a paper to note down names that rhyme with my sisters and my parents would have chosen the one which rhymes the most. Bingo. Such joy no? Indian second kids make it so easy on their parents for naming them. I mean the formula is straight forward, simple and just has 3 steps:

1.) Take elder kid’s name for reference.

2.) Jot down all names that rhymes with it.

3.) Choose the name that rhymes the best.

See easy peesey!!

I am pretty ambition less and I am mostly happy with my life and have no strong goals ( wow I so don’t sound like a loser here) except two.

1.) Never to have rhyming names for my kids

2.) To keep a more stylish name for my kids than mine and not something like Abitagujalambal😉

So is there anyone out there who is as name obsessed as me? Do let me know and you shall make a girl happy (Come on it can’t be that hard. No?)

Chennai roads

Here I am, back after three weeks. To think I have had writer’s block just after four posts is very disheartening. To make it worse I couldn’t even remember the password to my blog. I had to actually reset my password because after three wrong attempts my office instincts kicked in and I started worrying if my account will get locked (my office computer and email accounts get locked after three wrong attempts). So after 10 mins of trying to remember the password, 5 mins of three failed attempts to log in and another 10 mins to reset my password here I am finally trying to write my post. Anyone who tries to make fun of my ant sized memory power or typing speeds (what 10 mins to reset a single password) shall not be encouraged.

But on the positive note I would like to think I haven’t changed. I mean I am the biggest procrastinator I have ever seen and I am also pretty scared of change. So let’s assume that this is something good and move on with our post.

Anyhoo, I was driving my scooty today and as usual I encountered three “yemma veetla sollitu vantiya”*, two “yei loose pathu poradhu illiya”** and four I-dont-Give-a-shit-if-I-am-walking-right-in-the-middle-of-road-and-wont-move-even-if-you-honk pedestrians when I got this idea for a blog post. I was so pleased about having got an idea for a post that I actually smiled sweetly at the auto driver who gave me the finger while he cut me off.

So with my never-ending love for pointers and numbered lists let me list the lovely sights and the very interesting experiences I have had on Chennai roads:

1.) Auto drivers rule: Or so they think. I am not sure who made them the kings of the road and other vehicles, but you can ALWAYS find them cutting you off at turnings, shouting obscenities to you that would make even a five-year old blush and honking endlessly until you ram against the bike before you in order to give him the two-inch space for him to move forward. But I have got to hand it to them, when it comes to someone who can mindlessly violate the traffic, his own self-respect and other driver’s dignity there is no one who can get ahead of these auto drivers.

2.) Pedestrian Love: Have you ever encountered pedestrians who walk almost in the middle of the road, who hear a vehicle come behind them but NEVER move even an inch towards the footpath? If you say no I’ll just have to assume that you drive in space or some other planet where roads, traffic are actually sacred words never to be tainted. I encounter such idiots so frequently that I am beginning to think maybe its their birth right to do so. And their braveness is something I have got to appreciate. Even if I come really fast and really close to them and honk like there is no tomorrow, they never so much as even move their body one inch towards the footpath. It’s as if some invisible power from above comes and whispers into their ears that “All iz well”. Its me who gets panicky and have to avert my vehicle to avoid hitting them. They are cool as a cucumber, wont give me a second glance and just move on talking into their cellphones or day dreaming as they continue walking right in the middle of the road.

3.) No honking please: Whenever I see this sign behind some truck  I laugh out loud. Whoever invented or patented that line will probably commit suicide seeing how little respect people have for this line. In Chennai its everyone’s birth right to honk as they please, at whoever they want and however loudly that they want to. Even if the traffic light is red and everyone is waiting, drivers in many vehicles will keep honking mindlessly giving you a migraine. I think there is some frequency power in those horns which can make the Red signal to immediately change into Green. No? Also god forbid if you like to go in a reasonably decent speed limit. You might not die because of over speed but be assured that you will die of ear drum explosion or a severe migraine because of the honking that will ensue.

But in spite of all these I love to drive and driving actually soothes me. If I am upset or angry with someone I immediately go for a long drive with music plugged to my ears and I almost immediately calm down. Egad! Is this strange? Should I be treated for this? Let me know!!!

* Hey have you told to people at home before coming

** Hey crackpot, can’t you look and drive?

On sacrifices

I was talking to a friend of mine today. She is smart, intelligent and a warm person. A girl who can keep her head and handle the most difficult of situations. She recently got married and since I couldn’t attend the wedding I had called her to ask how the wedding went and how married life was treating her. We were generally talking when she came out and told me how the guy she married was not someone she liked or respected but someone whom her parents had thought was best for her. Now this might not be a very shocking information, but I was a bit startled when I heard this. On further conversation she told me that this was a small sacrifice she did in order to make her parents happy. I wished her well and after a brief talk ended the call.

This phone call got me thinking. How many girls out there are actually marrying a person they like and respect? Sure not everyone has the chance to fall in love with a guy and then marry, but I would like to think every girl at least has a chance to make sure she ends up with someone who is compatible to her and someone who likes and respects her. This is when the concept of sacrifice never appeals to me. How can a sacrifice be a good thing when it’s going to make you feel miserable and unhappy? Do people really think they can make others happy by a sacrifice that makes them unhappy?

I have found out that I am not capable of making my loved ones happy as long as I am, to an extent, happy and content with my own life. Does that make me a selfish person? I hear some people talk in length about how much meaning gets added to their life when they sacrifice for others. Sure a sacrifice for others can make you happy, only if you are satisfied and happy to make it. If making the sacrifice is going to haunt you for the rest of your life I would say you are better off not doing it.

I had a colleague at work that would never come out for any movies with us. On asking her why she said that her parents had asked her not to go out for movies with friends and she said it was a sacrifice she was making for them and that it felt great to sacrifice something for the people you loved. I would have accepted this and even appreciated her if she had been happy with this decision. But she felt miserable not being able to come out with us and always used to ask us with a puppy dog look how the movie was when we came back.  Is this a sacrifice that’s good for her or even for her parents?

In every walk of life I always see people, especially women making sacrifices for someone, be it parents or husband or in laws and convince themselves that it’s a great feeling to sacrifice for your loved ones when in reality it makes them more unhappy. So why do we do it? Do we think that makes us nurturing and caring human beings? Or do we think we as a woman have it in us to sacrifice all our happiness to keep our loved ones happy? Or are we just succumbing to the label that making a sacrifice and adjusting is what makes us a true woman? I would love to get some answers!

Five Star – Not!

Since jotting down points is one of my interests and also since I am unable to think of anything clever to blog right now, let me present to you the top five most stupid and uncouth things I have noticed some men do in workplaces. Before you pounce on me let me also add that most of the points below have been confirmed by my other girlfriends as occurring in their workplaces too.

1.)    Please, pretty please do not push past ladies when you are getting into the company bus. There is place for everyone in the bus and you won’t be left standing. It’s not only rude to push past them, but it’s downright inhuman to push past heavily pregnant ladies. It makes me wonder what kind of manners you were taught growing up or whether you don’t realize you are never ever going to get a date with any girl who sees you doing this.

2.)    Do not, I repeat do not burp loudly during a conference/meeting or a business lunch or for that matter even a normal lunch with your team mates/friends. It’s an extremely uncouth behavior and you will go100 points down in my book if you do it. There are subtle ways to burp and you should always apologize after you do it. Burping in public is not your birth right!

3.)    Slamming the door on the face of the girl coming right behind you. You needn’t go out of your way to keep the door open for the next person coming in, but would it hurt if you have to hold the door open for another 3 seconds in order to let the girl right behind you get in? Is that so difficult?

4.)    Do not ask a girl her age. This is such an age old proverb that I would think you would have it ingrained in your head by now. But no, I have had many guys come to me and ask my age. Also if the girl politely declines giving an answer to your obviously stupid question let go. Don’t stand by pestering her until she is forced to give you an answer.

5.)    Do not offer a girl any marital advice. It’s none of your fcuking business and please be assured that every girl has her own plans and reasons for having gotten married or to still remain single. Every time you get an urge to offer your extremely vast knowledge in this subject, do everyone a favor and slap yourself hard on your face.

A day in the life of SH

I walk back home tired and drunk with sleep. I stagger on my steps and might easily look like a drunk to any innocent passersby. I know, not a very nice scene and definitely not one of the scenes you see out of a romantic Gautham Menon movie where the heroine walks back home from work in perfect make up and fully done hair, where the hero all macho follows her. No sir that’s not how it happens here. The make up carefully applied in the morning is all gone, the hair is frizzy thanks to the bloody humidity and heat in Chennai and there is sadly no macho hero who follows me either. Unless you can count the creepy guy in the car wash shop who looks at me like he has never seen a girl in his life. But I digress.

Anyways I get home and there is amma watching TV and appa busy with some book. I get inside and say an enthusiastic Hi or at least a Hi that I can muster with the energy left in me. Amma waves back not peeling her eyes off the TV, in case she misses one scene in the serial which is running for 2 years now and whose story you just cannot miss even if you have been sleeping through it for one whole year. Appa grunts something which is barely audible. I resign, leave them to their respective pleasures and head to my room.

I change and then get hooked to the big bad world of WWW when amma calls from the hall “vandu sapdu…time aachu”*. This is when I have launched into a full bitch session with the BFF on chat. I shout back “pasikkala..apruma sapdaren”** which is returned with “ippo sapta nan poderen illana nee than eduthu potukanum”***.My laziness gets the better of me and I reluctantly say bye to the BFF asking her to remember the exact place where we left the conversation so that we can take it up the next day.

I go to get my dinner and polambify**** some more about how she always makes the spinach that I hate or the beans which she considers “healthy”. After some scolding from the mater I eat what’s on the plate without any further fuss. By then I have to snatch the remote off my appa’s hand where he insists on watching some stupid cricket match. Then I sit to eat in peace while watching ‘Two and a half men’ or ‘The Simpsons’. Appa as on cue gets into one of his infamous lectures about how youngsters these days have no discipline whatsoever which is promptly ignored by my brain cells because duh Charlie Sheen is there on the screen. How can one possibly concentrate on anything else apart from him?

Dinner gets over and its time to hit the bed so that I can open them eyelids the next day morning to drag myself to work. I say goodnight to amma and appa and just about to flop into my extra thick mattress bed when amma reminds me to brush my teeth and wash my face. I give her an angry glare which of course has no effects that it’s intended to have. Dejected and reminding myself to improvise on my ‘glare’ I dutifully do the needful and flop into bed within 2 minutes.

I then dream about Surya or some handsome guy I have seen somewhere in the office or on the roads when a huge smile crosses my face and I blissfully start sleeping.

Ah what an exciting life I lead.

* Come and eat its time.

** Not hungry I’ll eat later

*** I’ll serve if you eat now, else you have to serve yourself.

**** Complain

Hello

My first post!! Can’t believe it took so long to get into the blogging world. Well I guess people don’t call me a ‘born procrastinator’ for no reason.

Anyways better late than never. See ya all around!

And yes please welcome me in!🙂